I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!
Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?
Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt – my eyes!
Which sex position produces the ugliest kids? (Idk, which?) Ask your parents!
Hey baby…can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
I’d totally bang you in the alley… if I wasn’t on probation.
Hypothetically speaking, if I were to fuck you, would you let me?
Do you like cherries? [No.] Ok, can I have yours?
Flamingos are pink, proposing takes guts, I’ll be the pimp, you be my slut.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.
Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but who’s to say it’s wrong if we sleep together?
Are your knees dirty? I don’t want to get my floor dirty.
I’m either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.
Baby… wanna come for a ride?
My place…..Eight o’clock……bring a friend.
I’m leaving this place … want to cum?
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.
If you were a car, I’d wax you and ride you all over town.
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
This isn’t a beer belly, it’s the fuel tank for my love machine!
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
Excuse me, but I have the mother load and was wondering if you had a place
Hey babe, wanna sample my DNA?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
You look familiar, have we had sex before?
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
You’d mind if I fantasize about you?
I’ll suck you so hard that you’ll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I’m finished.
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
Hey, are you hiring? I really need a blowjob.
I’m a starving artist and I want to eat you.
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
Hey baby, I’ll fuck you so hard the neighbors will be having a cigarette when we’re done.
Hi, my name is ______________. I eat pussy like a woman.
Do you have any Irish in you? (if no.) Would you like some? (if yes.) Want some more?
(Leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
[What are you doing?] I’m taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I’ll understand if you spit.
Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.