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The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fck you on the floor.
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You want to come over for Thanksgiving? Because I’m gonna stuff your turkey.
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Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
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Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
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Baby I’m like a firefighter I find them hot and leave them wet.
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Fuck me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?
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I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
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You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.
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Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
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I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
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How do you spell “me”? (M-E) You forgot the D (There’s no D in ME) Not yet ;)
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Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
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I’m the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
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You have eyes like spanners. When I look in to them, my nuts tighten.