Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, “Fuck it”.
My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!
You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.
Are you a light switch? ‘Cause you turn me on!
Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you all night long!
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fck you on the floor.
I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?
That dress looks really good on you but, it would look better on my bedroom floor.
I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.
You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.
Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
Do you want to go on a ate? I’ll give you the D later
How do you spell “me”? (M-E) You forgot the D (There’s no D in ME) Not yet ;)
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!
You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.
If you were a squirrel, would you help me bust a nut?