Dirty Pick-Up Lines

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Got a soggy bun for a lonely weenie?

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Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.

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Have sex with me and I promise never to talk to you again!

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Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?

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He: Hi, what's the color of your hair? She: (tells him) He: And the hair on your head?

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Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?

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Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.

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Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

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Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.

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Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?

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Hey, my seamen has the SPF of 30, care to rub some on your face?

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Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'

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Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?

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Hi, my name's ______________. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!

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Hi, wanna f**k? [No] Mind lying down while I do?

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Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."

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Honey, your dad doesn't have a penis. He's got a paintbrush!

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I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.

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I cum in 5 seconds, you won't even know I was there.

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I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

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I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

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I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??

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I love you, I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

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I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass!

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I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.

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I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to

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I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

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I'm a used car but you can still drive me!

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I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?

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I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first

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I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

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I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

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I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

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I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?

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I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

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I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.

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I've got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?

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If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?

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If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you f**k me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.

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If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

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If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.

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Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.

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Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.

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Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.

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Perhaps you recognize me from one of the popular adult movies I was in.

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Try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.

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Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits

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Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!

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Does your ass

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What is long and hard, and right behind you?

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