Like Motel 6, I’ll leave the light on for you.
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
(Take a photo of her) I want to show my mom what my next girlfriend looks like
I saw you girls from over there and just want to let you know that I’m taken.
If I was a stoplight, everytime you came by I’d turn red, just to stare at you longer.
I must be lost
So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I’ve got one that I’m just dying to put in your drawers.
Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!
I’ve got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?
Say, that’s a nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
Do I know you? (No.) That’s a shame, I’d sure like to.
Are those diamonds real? [YES] I was talking about the ones in your eyes.
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount.
Were do you hide your wings?
Give me a bottle of wine and ill make you mine.
Are you an interior decorator? ‘Cause when I saw you, the room became beautiful.
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
You know, sweetie, my lips won’t just kiss themselves…
You wanna know what’s big? (Pause) My house you weirdo!
I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
I must be in heaven because I’m looking at an angel!
Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you’re blowing me away.
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
If kisses were snowflakes, I
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going….
Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going… I just need eye contact from you.
Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn’t ask you how you looked!
It’s not the size of the boat. It’s the motion of the ocean.
I’m hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
Do you like blueberries or strawberries, ’cause I want to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning.
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date’s with you and me.
Girls are sexy, guys are fine I’ll be your six if you’ll be my nine!
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
I want to write a poem on your body with my lips
Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Oh, yeah, [band name] is really great. . . I have all their rare stuff. You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want.
Let’s play hockey. I”ll be the net, and you can score.
Are you from Ireland? ‘Cuz my dick’s-a-Dublin!
Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
If you were a sea i would swim in you forever.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Hey how many boyfriends have you had? (Like 10 I Think) Could I Make That 11?
Was your father a welder? No, why? Because those sure are acetylene tits!
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
Damn girl, I thought diamonds were pretty until I laid my eyes on you!
I could use some spare change and you’re a dime.
It’s a new world order. Have your way with me.
Hey, I’m new in town.
You look like my mom!
A life without you, would be like a computer without an OS.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you’re dope.
I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
“I have a boyfriend” – Well you look like the kind of girl who could use two
Hey… Didn’t I see your name in the dictionary under “Shazaam!”?
If women were trophies, you’d be first place!
May I flirt with you?
Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you’re the bomb!
Vogue just called, they want to put you on the cover.
Just where do those legs of yours end?
Did god take the thunder out the skys and put it in your thighs?!
My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?
So, you must be the reason men fall in love.
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
What do you want for Christmas? A date with you!
Baby you make palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti.
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.
Do you bleach your teeth? ‘Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let’s go prove it.
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
So what haven’t you been told tonight?
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y’all!
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!
I’m easy. Are you?
May I end this sentence with a proposition?
Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
I’ve got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That’s right, I’m a clown.
Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
My bologna has a first name…
Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.
Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it’s a gem.
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
Hey, are those jeans? Cuz they’re blue!!
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in this place?