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I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on
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I’d rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
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I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
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I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
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Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
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Hi, I have big feet.
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Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
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Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
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Hey baby… you got any diseases? Want some?
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Girl you’re like a car accident, cause I just can’t look away.
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Find a girl at the bar, walk over to her, and say “you put the ‘hot ass’ in my shot glass.
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Do you mind if I hang out here until it’s safe back where I farted?
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Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
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Did you know that I saved a girl’s life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
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Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you’ve got nice eyes.
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Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
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As long as i have a face, you will always have a place to sit.
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Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!